Having done it for more than four years, I know that shared custody can be a whirlwind of emotions for both parents and children, but amidst the challenges, there’s a fair share of humour and laughter to be found.
Here are some of my notable moments…and by notable, I mean shitty!!
The Packing Paradox
There is this unwritten bullshit rule that for some reason the amount (and quality) of stuff you pack for your child’s weekend with the other parent is directly proportional to how much you love them. From clothes to toys and everything in between, it feels like a never-ending game of suitcase Tetris. Do you send the good clothes or the “home” clothes? What if they forget their clothes or gadgets at the other parent’s home – how long will it take to get them back? Dilemmas all around!
The Vanishing Sock Chronicles
No matter how meticulously you prepare, there will always be a missing sock or a forgotten toothbrush or lost favourite toy or doudou* when your child heads back to their other parent’s house. It’s as if these items have mastered the art of hide-and-seek in an effort to embarrass you and warrant that message from the other parent demanding the return of said item in somewhat passive-aggressive-yet-polite-undertones!
The Coolness Contest
We all know this! Both parents unknowingly engage in a silent battle of “who’s the cooler/better parent?” during their time with the children. It’s a hilarious (though expensive) cycle of trying to one-up each other with exciting activities and unforgettable experiences to claim the honour of being the Fun Parent. It’s a game with no end, but the real winners are the kids and that can’t be a bad thing.
The Humbling Moment
Kids have a knack for keeping us humble and introducing us to ourselves. Nothing brings you back to earth faster than realising you forgot an important event during your custody time, only to be met with your child’s disappointed gaze – and in a couple of days a judgmental text from your ex as if they have never forgotten anything…). Cue the facepalm and a heartfelt (though somewhat indignant) apology.
The Telephone Tango
Co-parenting can sometimes feel like a never-ending game of telephone. Messages and instructions get lost in translation, leading to confusion and resentment. It’s as if the simplest of messages become a frustrating game of deciphering secret codes. This is even more of a fuckfest when the parents are at loggerheads! “Did you say pickup at 4 or 5…And I am fetching him from soccer or from aftercare?” #chaos
Shared custody is a journey with its ups and downs, but at its core, it’s all about prioritizing your children’s happiness and well-being. Embrace the humour, find solace in the shared experiences, and cherish the stories that emerge from this ever-evolving adventure.
While the handover process may sometimes feel like a scene from a Bond movie, as long as love and laughter prevail, you’ll navigate the path with resilience and create lasting memories along the way.
*Doudou: Noun. (plural doudous) Origin French meaning any stuffed toy such as a stuffed animal.